So... in the last week we've had three deaths in our family. The DH's grandmother, my great-aunt and my ex-brother in law (my nieces' father.) Plus, we're still all adjusting to the boyfriends cancer diagnosis and dealing with all of the end of the year hullabaloo.
AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ok, I'm done. I'm just very, very tired and am feeling very overwhelmed. Plus, for some stupid reason I've not been able to sleep the last two nights. Maybe venting into cyber-space will help.
I hope so.
And work is busy. And we have a Relay for Life fundraising yard sale at our house this weekend. Plus, Wink has poms try outs and band practices and singing stuff Sat and Sun.
Ok, now I'm really done. =}
Sometimes, as much as I really love my life, I wish I could take a time out. Just a couple of hours with no phone calls and no demands on my time to read a book and take a nap and drink a glass of wine. Or whatever. I wonder if we all would like a vacation from our lives for a while. I'm pretty sure of it.
I'm gonna go try to dream about it.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Fear
So... I'm taking 20 minutes to cruise the internet and I went back to this web page that I haven't been to in a while. I thought this weeks question was worth thinking about a little.
I was surprised to find that I still thought "people not liking me" was a fear... it just jumped in my head when I was trying to think of a 7th (followed quickly by "J being in a airplane crash" and " being a grandmother before 40") I like to think I've conquered all of my old "moving all the time" fears, but I guess not. Funny the things that follow you into adulthood.
I guess I'll have to work on that one.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:Name seven things you fear most.
1. One of my children dying.
2. Being a bad mother.
3. Cancer.
4. Losing control of my car in a rainstorm (old dream.)
5. Mice.
6. Heights
7. People not liking me (old hang- up.)
Cancer. Ugh. F'n cancer. I hate it so much. I never understand the who and whys of it. Wink's boyfriend was just diagnosed with Hodgkin's and I just don't understand. It's early and he will be fine... the prognosis is very, very good. BUT... really! He's 17. Totally not fair. The thinking about it has sent me into flashbacks about my dad and I'm afraid I'm not handling it very well. I really just want to cry because I know what he has ahead of him and I know it's gonna suck. So, I fear for him... and I fear for my baby. I'm a walking bundle of anxiety right now. This will change both of their lives forever. Hopefully, they'll both come out of this stronger, healthier and with a lifetime friendship. Not so sure about that, though. I know that often people do stupid things when they feel like they have nothing left to lose.
All I can do is hope that they will make good choices and be happy. In the end, that's all we want for our kids, isn't it?
I was surprised to find that I still thought "people not liking me" was a fear... it just jumped in my head when I was trying to think of a 7th (followed quickly by "J being in a airplane crash" and " being a grandmother before 40") I like to think I've conquered all of my old "moving all the time" fears, but I guess not. Funny the things that follow you into adulthood.
I guess I'll have to work on that one.
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:Name seven things you fear most.
1. One of my children dying.
2. Being a bad mother.
3. Cancer.
4. Losing control of my car in a rainstorm (old dream.)
5. Mice.
6. Heights
7. People not liking me (old hang- up.)
Cancer. Ugh. F'n cancer. I hate it so much. I never understand the who and whys of it. Wink's boyfriend was just diagnosed with Hodgkin's and I just don't understand. It's early and he will be fine... the prognosis is very, very good. BUT... really! He's 17. Totally not fair. The thinking about it has sent me into flashbacks about my dad and I'm afraid I'm not handling it very well. I really just want to cry because I know what he has ahead of him and I know it's gonna suck. So, I fear for him... and I fear for my baby. I'm a walking bundle of anxiety right now. This will change both of their lives forever. Hopefully, they'll both come out of this stronger, healthier and with a lifetime friendship. Not so sure about that, though. I know that often people do stupid things when they feel like they have nothing left to lose.
All I can do is hope that they will make good choices and be happy. In the end, that's all we want for our kids, isn't it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
